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Sadly, all known audio copies of this song (meaning, "the cassette from Hagan's phone machine") have been lost. Thankfully, the lyrics have been preserved for posterity.

The Syslord Rap
Cold Tea & D.J. Biggie Fry

I'm the King of the VAX from D-E-C,
Let me tell you man, it's the way to be.

I'm an Ultrix Wizard, a Unix Hack,
And I don't need no manual rack.

I can hack it in assembly, I can hack it in C,
I can hack it as a bitstream, it don't matter to me.

I don't care about quotas or the system load,
And if you don't like it, Hey! Use another node.

Screw with my machine, I won't give you no slack
And if you don't like it, stay the hell back.

'Cause I'm the Syslord, and I'm Number One,
I'm the Super User, and it sure is fun.

I can do most anything that I please,
I can delete your file directories.

I got amazing skills and devastating knowledge,
And I didn't get them by going to college.

So all you hackers with your Sucker PCs,
You better look out, I'm deleting some trees!

So look out, Lusers, here I come.
I'm the SysLord, and I've got a big gun!